Monday, August 21, 2006

A Void

My husband is out of town this week. He left yesterday. He travels a good bit so we are used to the routines. I find when he leaves that there is a void, not so much because everyone is pining away, but because when he is here he takes up so much space. Does that sound weird?

I've noticed that some people totally fill a room when they enter, not because of size, but because of presence - perhaps a strong voice, heavy walking, a willingness to modify surroundings for personal comfort, or a self assuredness that demands notice. My husband is one of these people.

The house feels larger and empty. I wonder, how much space do I occupy?

5 comments:

zilla said...

"I find when he leaves that there is a void, not so much because everyone is pining away, but because when he is here he takes up so much space. Does that sound weird?"

No, it sounds familiar.

As for how much space I occupy, I tend to judge by what goes on when the house is at its fullest, which is eight or nine people, including me.

Most often, I feel that I occupy very little space, and that is probably because everyone else here feels I occupy a lot of space.

Meaning, they all still want to need me, and I'm failing at teaching them not to.

Need to work on that :-)

Mother Crone's Homeschool said...

I can totally relate. I find this whenever my hubby goes away. Even more predominant in the evenings, I realize how much the nights are his, wiht his family around him.
I find this when my son leaves for weekends camping and such too. Now, his isn't a physical void, but a change in energy level of the house. He is full of life, having a Tom-Cruise-jumping-on-the-couch type of reaction to most things. When he leaves, we all relax significantly to our own levels (much lower!)
I know that I fill a room when I want, but sometimes choose not to as well. I have learned to withdraw in to nurture myself. My daughter is the opposite; happily inside unless she wants to let you see the humor and devilishness that lies underneath. She is truly more witty than most adults I know!

wisteria said...

With 8 or 9 people in the house no one can occupy too much space! Did the landscaper move in with you?

I chatted with my sister about this space thing yesterday. We divided space into physical space and emotional space and then started placing people we know into space using categories. Very amusing! Then she said something that made me think about my space usage.

I, like mother crone, can meld into the environment and watch or I can become a space taker. For the most part, I feel that I move quietly in my environment. My sister says that I am so protective of my personal space, that though the space I use may be small, it seems much larger.

mull-berry said...

FWIW, I noticed your absence when you had computer problems! : )

wisteria said...

Thanks!