Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I'm leaving home at 5:30 tomorrow morning

I will begin my adventure tomorrow morning. I haven't had any solo adventures in 10 years. I have taken an obsessive role in the upbringing of my children and have only been away from them for more than a few hours on two or three occasions. I left Pink Panther at home when I was having Princess, but my loneliness only lasted 30 or so minutes before Princess appeared. I left them both one night when I was in the hospital (8 hours total) before I discharged myself. Other than those two times, I have never been alone. I have taken them everywhere or only had short absences. I know that sounds insane, but it was my choice and I really like my children. I enjoy seeing what they will do next. They are highly amusing. Tomorrow will be the longest. I leave at 5:30 and I am hoping to be back by midnight.

Anyway, I am excited! The drive will be boring. I have driven it many times and tomorrow I will see a lot of corn fields and beans. Excitement will be in the freedom. I will only have the responsibility to get home in one piece. I don't have to worry about pleasing everyone with music (or book choices), food choices, and temperature selection. I don't have to worry about the language of my book or music choices. I will have freedom of thought or lack thereof and freedom from interruption. It will not be possible for me to repair any body's computer. It will not be possible for me to repair links, answer e-mail, or intercede in squabbles. There is nothing to disturb my drive through the once prairie, now corn field. I will rush home (because that is my nature), but not too much. I will enjoy calm. I will enjoy my new car. I will enjoy my audio book even though I will long for the text on a page. I will be myself.


Jennifer said...

I can so relate to this.

The one thing that divorce forced me to learn, was how to be away from my kids. (I do not recommend divorce, however; when kids are involved, you've still got a lifetime of dealing with their daddy, so it's got to be better and wiser to learn to deal with him within marriage -- I think -- not that this pertains at all to you.) Just saying, I get the thing about being separated from children when you've committed your life to giving them 110%, and your marriage the other 220%.

We're women. We've got more to give than anyone ever ought to have to give :-)

At one point, when my eldest was in 6th grade and my youngest was still in diapers, I had this fantasy of driving from here to Alaska, alone, in a red Dodge Ram pick-up.

I would relish the details of your drive if you decide to post them -- what you listen to, what you think about, what you see along the way, where you stop to refuel and grab rehydration or a meal.

I love an adventure as much as I love a vicarious thrill.

I hope you share.

Frankie said...

You and I are a lot alike. My husband and I chose to be around Thomas all the time, too. We get a lot of flack because we don't do date nights, don't take time to ourselves. I steal a few hours here and there in the evenings by going shopping, but frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

So enjoy your ride. Enjoy the peace, quiet, temperature, potty breaks, music, book choice. lol

Have a safe journey and --

slug bug, no slugs back.


Mother Crone's Homeschool said...

THis past year I have made a concerted effort to do things just for "me" occasionally. To go places and spend afternoons where I am "Angela"- not mom, wife, daughter, teacher, leader, and all the expectations that each role brings. It is a wonderful thing, and has made me enjoy all those roles more!! Enjoy your trip..!