Now that I have read excerpts I am even more horrified. These tips for training are indeed torture. I live in an area that still uses corporeal punishment frequently. In fact, I am in the minority by not spanking my children. People think I am ruining them. Corporeal punishment is still used in the public school (one more reason to homeschool). What these books suggest, especially in the Bible thumping/Spare the rod - Spoil the Child South, is a confirmation of the archaic use of the rod and an appeal to take it one step further by reducing the age of accountability. The problem, as I see it is this. If you allow yourself to spank your children you are giving in to a more base instinct of brute force (I would have said primal, but most healthy animals naturally nurture their young, especially primates).
- The biggest, strongest wins. You are teaching your children that once they get bigger they can wield their power and get their way, thereby creating the bully effect.
- Anger and rage many times rule, rather than reason. Parenting is frustrating. Sleep deprivation is costly in logic. Sometimes you just have a bad day. During these times having a stick(or a supply line) around would lead to abuse and not discipline. I, personally, have had days that I have lost my temper and yelled and ranted at my children. No, yelling at your children is not great, but if I used supply lines for discipline and they were readily available in every room of the house would I have grabbed one of them and called it training. Yelling is easier to forgive than bruises, fear and lack of trust. If you made a decision before your children are born to "Spare the Rod" you are more likely to exercise control in these frustrating times.
- The spirit of the child is broken or irreparably damaged.
- Children learn respect of people (not fear of pain).
- Children are validated as humans.
- Children feel like important members of the family because their opinions count. They are not dominated by over bearing parents with switches.
- Children are not scared and they can bloom and grow into something beautiful.
- You might learn something about yourself.