Thursday, March 16, 2006

Lost Friend

I've done a terrible thing and I am having trouble getting over it. I had (have?) a friend named Butch who is an 80+ year old ex merchant marine. He is a crusty old sailor but had good stories, grew 20+ varieties of peppers and truckloads of tomatoes, and was willing to share. I learned much from him while visiting. He called when he got back from his daughter's in Texas because he had some goodies for the children and good chocolate for me. We didn't go. I felt too busy to listen to him rant about how the government and Bush were destroying everything.

Now he is gone. He left for Snug Harbor, a retirement home for old seamen in North Carolina. We didn't say thank you or good-by. I suppose he thinks we didn't care. We didn't know he was going away so soon. I thought we had one more year for gardening. I knew he was tying up loose ends. He gave me seeds from his favorite old tomato, a red habenaro, and his gorgeous tree formed wisteria. I knew his cancer was back and he was worried. I just thought he had more time.

I got the address from the web site and I will write and see how he is. Writing seems lame. I should have gone over there when he called.


Almost Lazarus said...

Write, he'll enjoy it. Send him pictures of your garden, your kids, maybe even video. He understands. People with kids are busy. You didn't know, so don't beat yourself up.

griffin said...

Oh, can I relate! An elderly neighbor on our street, who I had grown to love, moved away recently and unexpectedly. It's a very hard thing to have happen.
Do write to him, and plant those tomatoe seeds, send him updates about their growth and the recipies you use them in. And remember what you told me, not so long ago: fogive yourself and move forward.

(cyber hug)

wisteria said...

I have written. It took so long. I guess I was still to busy beating myself up, that I wasn't thinking of him. I do feel better.