Replacing Accusations with Compliments

Yesterday, was not a great day. I awoke with a pile of unfinished, but due, business on my desk, 20+ technical/customer service emails in my work box, a Cad computer down at the plant, and a bee hive in desperate need of attention. I was swamped before I could take a breath. I began work and when my son got up he came in for his morning hugs and I brushed him away. I told him I had only two hours to finish the project and I didn't have time for our usual few minutes. He walked away. I felt guilty, but kept working. A little while later, he presented me with a cheese omelet and some orange juice. I, of course, said thanks, but continued working.

After I finished the major project and answered the e-mail, we left to go to the plant to work on the computer and take care of the EDI (electronic invoicing). Both children were extremely patient as they waited a couple of hours. By the time I was finishing there, the hardware store for which I do network maintenance found me and was having problems. The children, again, waited patiently while I restored files.

At home, I was able to locate some wired foundation (from my sixth grade teacher). My husband retrieved it on his way home from work and I was able to build 9 frames. I was so excited to get the frames done that I ran out to install them right at that minute even though it was threatening rain, it was almost 7 pm and getting a little dark, the bees were stressed because of heat and over crowding, and I was going solo (my husband took the children swimming). Obviously, this wasn't a pleasant morning of beekeeping and to make it worse two bees found a way into my bonnet. Since I didn't have help and the hive was vulnerable and fiesty, I had nothing to do but continue my work. I was stung once right under the eye. When the children and husband got home they were nuturing.

The same children who are helpful, patient, and nurturing also trash the bathroom, use 3 to 4 towels a day, make tremendous messes, and leave my tools out in the rain. The point is that I frequently say my son's name twenty times a day in that accusatory, don't move a muscle voice. Yet, I forget to say thank you twenty times a day for all the little niceties and patience. I take those things for granted because my children are well mannered, thoughtful, and helpful almost all the time.

While I was lying in bed trying to go to sleep, though there was no reason to close one of my eyes since it is swollen shut, I thought about this. I got out of bed, woke each of the children, and said, "I forgot to say thank-you for . . ." Ridiculous to wake them, but I wanted them to know I recognized that they are patient while I work, thoughtful, and helpful. I am going to make a point to make more compliments than accusations - though 4 towels a day will never be tolerated.

Getting Back into a Rhythm

I was incredibly productive this past weekend. I didn't leave the property for more than an hour, but accomplished much, though none of it had anything to do with paid work. Today, the paid holiday ended and I don't feel like I can move under the "didn't dos" from before the weekend. So, I have accomplished little at home and little at work. I lost the focus or desire somewhere in the night.

My children seem to be at loose ends without their routines - school and ballet. My son still has scouts, but it doesn't seem routine since it is the only activity now. My son is banging around outside and the Princess is begging for a movie (I haven't given in, yet). I seem to have that same the same blase attitude.

Maybe, tomorrow.

Kitchen Project Finished

I have actually finished my reorganization of the kitchen/school storage areas. I will see how it works during the art heavy summer. The tall paper and Meet the Masters portfolios are to the left. Next is the assortment of papers stored in "In/Out" Boxes. His and Hers pencil sharpeners (thanks to my mom) and a scale. Next comes my solution for the art supplies and math manipulatives - small drawer units purchased at Dollar General for cheap. I like them because you can remove the whole drawer and set it on the table so wobble eyes, crayons, and feathers are easy to use and, hopefully, put away neatly. I captured two of the permanent drawers for school, too. I put all the flash cards, which are on book rings, in one of the drawers. I haven't put anything in the other. I like that empty drawer feeling. I don't think I have ever had an empty drawer before.

As school draws near I will put, ONLY, the books we are using on the counter top above or if I get really ambitious I will make room in the cookbook bookcase. I don't really use every one of the 150+ cookbooks and 100+ magazines stored there, but as soon as I give or throw something away I want it for something.

Memorial Day

From the Red Clay Hills of Central Mississippi, to all those who served to uphold the ideals of this country and to protect this country, I salute you!! The sacrifices to maintain the freedoms we, so often, take for granted have been many.

I only hope that our greed and lust for power do not negate that which has been so loyally upheld.

A Breath of Air

The whole mood has changed within minutes. The temperature is dropping and a breeze is blowing. I hear thunder. Earlier today, I thought we would smother in the oppressive heat and humidity that has clung to our area all week.

Finally, a release. I am waiting on the porch for the first drops of rain.

Procrastination

We moved into this house almost a year and a half ago. I bought fabric about six months ago. Yesterday, because I didn't want to clean the school stuff from under the counters, I made the lined shades to keep the sun from blasting through the west windows into the kitchen thereby turning it into a sauna. In my defense it was so hot! I think the temperatures outside were 92, but with the 50% humidity it felt hotter. It was cooler inside, but the humidity was the same. I was problem solving, not procrastinating.

Today, because the kitchen is cooler and has that nice filtered light, I will finish cleaning the school stuff. Unless, I can find something else more pressing.

Help!!! I am so good at procrastination.

If I ever get the kitchen de-schooled, I will post pictures of my memorial kitchen that I got to design and help build within the walls of this old house.

De-Schooling the Kitchen

Yesterday, I began de-schooling the kitchen. Unfortunately, the job is so huge that I will be doing the same thing today. I am amazed at the sheer volume of stuff - some of which I don't even remember using. Even though this is a drudge, it is also a good lesson. I don't need to buy so many things. Fewer items used more often would work just as well.

Today, I tackle underneath the cabinets and the drawers. Though I have one section that stays relatively well kept(the paper storage), the other two moving towards three cabinets have lost their plan. When I get everything taken out, I will try to come up with another method that will contain the art supplies, pens, pencils, rulers, markers, math manipulatives, etc. Princess can sort the markers and toss the ones that don't write and sharpen all pencils that are worth saving. Why do I have 10 rulers when I have only 2 children? Even with the 10 rulers, why could we never find even one when the math lesson called for a ruler without having to spend 20 minutes searching?

After the kitchen, I will move on to the book cases in the living room. After this long weekend, I will know which things I need to buy, which things I can give to others, and which things need to go into the garbage. I like to get this re-organization done early so I can spend the summer concentrating on getting the materials we need without the panicky last minute rush in which I have a tendency to over buy to compensate for my lack of planning.

I suppose I should quit talking about it and just get to work.

Roosters Crowing

The little roosters are starting to crow, though it is hardly a crow yet. They alternate between squeaks and toots, honks and squawks. I'm amused by this stage because when the young roosters are practicing their vocals, they have no clue how awkward they look or sound. They feel as proud as the older rooster who is strutting his stuff in front of the adolescent females, yet they sound ridiculous.

I am reminded of adolescent boys going through the motions of being a man - just an act for a while.

The Aroma of Summer

Magnolia, not the Japanese kind, and gardenia is blooming now in Mississippi. Both of these wonderful flowers smell deliciously sweet. Unfortunately, all I can smell is the chicken litter my husband has spread on the hay field across the road. Every time the breeze blows across the gardenias planted by the front door and down the dog trot, it is also blowing across the chicken poop. My plan to have the lovely aroma of gardenia circulating via the dog trot has failed miserably.

Small Bee Emergency

Yesterday, when we got back from the Delta, my husband said, "Take a look at the bees. There are more than usual out on the front." The temperature was over 90 degrees so bees should be out of the hive, but there were still too many. I didn't think these new hives would need another brood chamber yet, but I was wrong. The other colony is not as strong, but this one is bursting at the seams.

So, today my husband and the Princess added another brood chamber and re-arranged the frames so that there are only 9 frames in the lower hive body. Losing a full brood frame to the upper chamber helps the bees move up faster and also makes it easier to remove frames and inspect bees. We use two different colors for hive bodies - green and white - so we can keep track of the rotation. The green frame in the white hive body is a plastic drone foundation. Supposively, mites prefer the drone larva, so we have one drone foundation per hive. Once the comb is built, the eggs laid, larva formed and sealed we will remove this frame and freeze it, thereby killing the mites. When we replace it, the bees will clean out the dead larva and the process begins, again.

The children started helping with the bees when they were 3 - just old enough to hold the smoker or hive tool. My son, when he was three, dropped the smoker into the bottom of a double hive when I had about half of the frames out looking for a queen during a requeening. The bees were not happy, so I told my son to run. Unfortunately, I had chosen this day to throw caution to the wind by wearing black pants. Most of the bees came out of the hive and attacked my pants (my legs), but I was able to maintain my composure and reconstruct the hive. I don't ever wear black pants anymore (except last month when my friend's bees swarmed and one other time)

Beekeeping started as my hobby. My husband was not interested at all. We still lived in town and he thought we would be a nuisance to our neighbors. Once we got the first hive, he began watching the proceedings from a distance. Then he moved closer and closer. Now we have to take turns working the hives. He loves it. Today was his turn to handle the frames, though we were all out there looking. In the last picture you can see a typical brood frame with capped honey at the top, some "green honey" below, and different phases of brood below. That glob on the bottom is free form brood. We removed it. Some bees keep a neat chamber and others tend to build and glue anywhere. We prefer these bees, even though they make globs because they are so calm that I trust my children to be around them, even in short sleeves.

With these strong young queens we could have double brood chambers and honey by the end of the summer in these two new hives. These bees earned the cliche, "As Busy as Bees."

Did I mention what an amazing MIL I have?

My MIL is, truly, a Southern woman -- gracious, beautiful, and strong. Even at 75 she has maintained her feminine shape, dares a hair to turn gray on her naturally brunette head, drives all over the country, maintains a beautiful yard, volunteers profusely, has a full social calendar, and still has enough time to make me and my children feel extra special when we invite ourselves to her house. She even has a drawl that would make Scarlett O'Hara jealous. I am amazed - constantly. O.K. I feel a bit inept, too.

I wonder if they taught all of that at Mississippi State College for Women (now Mississippi University for Women) or if she was born that way or if her Mother taught her. The children and I were running late because the air conditioner was not working in the van and decided, after 15 miles, to return home and change vehicles. She called by the time we got to Greenwood to find out if we were stranded somewhere. When we arrived she greeted us at the car and we visited on the back patio and I got her to show me her flowers. She knew every species (She is a Mississippi Master Gardener) and exactly when it would bloom. We went inside and dinner was prepared with seemingly no effort. It was just whisked onto the table (obviously prepared before hand and warming on the oven, but we never saw the effort).

After dinner my MIL had chosen a movie especially for the children and sat down to watch it with them while leaving the most recent copies of magazines I enjoy, but don't subscribe in our room. She also retrieved a new book she thought I might enjoy. After the movie, the children and I slipped off to a perfectly made bed. The starched sheets are cool and smooth. The blankets are encased in the sheets so there is no scratchy wool touching you and the whole experience is finished off with a comforter to create the perfect weight and starched linen pillow cases on an abundance of pillows.

In the morning we had a full breakfast with sausage, biscuits, cinnamon rolls and slushy orange juice. Again, produced with no visible effort. She had also read the newspaper and found an article about sleep deprivation because I had mentioned something about another article the night before. All the special touches like gardenias and magnolia blooms in vases, the magazines specially for me, the movie for the children, the starched sheets, the article clipped from the paper, the guilt free supper, and the slushy orange juice make a person feel welcome.

When I first married my husband, I took these things for granted. We only visited at Christmas because we lived so far away. I suppose I felt we were special visitors. Now, I know that anyone who shows up gets the same treatment. She is a true Southern woman who would have it no other way.

I am going to practice so I can continue the tradition. Where is that starch?

McCarty's

One of the bags containing perfect wedding gifts, wrapped in Bolivar Chronicle overruns, for my good friends who are getting married next month and ex students who are marrying next weekend. I am so excited that I was able to get something beautiful and useful, all in a timely manner.

My MIL, ever efficient, was able to get us to Merigold at 9:56 a.m. this morning. McCarty's opens at 10 and within minutes the small showroom was packed. We were able to shop while we could still appreciate the subtleties of shape, texture, and color and before we felt pressured by all the others who were looking for similarly priced pieces. After choosing a few pieces, we took a break and walked the gardens.

The gardens are beautiful in their naturalness. Limbs of small trees are allowed to flow over the paths and moss is allowed to cover surfaces of the fountain. Yet, there is structure in the rooms and pebble paths. Carefully controlled Bamboo and aged cypress is the canvas for the other plants (many of which are singles). The verti-linear movement of the bamboo and cypress has a very Asian feel, but the seemingly chaotic plantings of persimmon, fig, hydrangea, ferns, and mosses warm the atmosphere. Pottery bunnies and pigs hide in every corner. Huge pots, none of which are for sale, are thoughtfully planted and placed. I would have loved to sit and daydream in the cool, damp shade of the gardens. Instead, we were rousted back in by the swelling crowds of shoppers.

These are the pieces I bought (except for the bluebirds which I will explain later). I know! There are more than two pieces. I always say, buy a gift for others and then one for yourself. The signature Mississippi River is clearly visible on the nutmeg pieces. The vase is a replica of bamboo. The bluebirds are a gift to my children. Mr. McCarty gives each child a bluebird to ward away sadness and bad thoughts. Each bluebird is a little different and is packed in its own signature bag. Mr. McCarty signs and dates the card and teases the children and makes them feel truly special. I think he actually said, "Stop selling and wrapping, we have important visitors." He was speaking of my children who left feeling significant.

Nothing more needs to be said, but I will add that the McCarty's live their love and version of truth and you can feel it in the interaction with the customers, the unity with nature produced in the pottery, and the dedication to the small Delta town. Read their story at their web site.

The Mississippi Delta

I'm leaving shortly to travel to the Mississippi Delta to visit my completely cool MIL. The children and I will spend the night with her and then go to the McCarty Pottery place in Merigold, MS. The McCarty's are celebrating 50 years in the business this year (or was it last year). Their gardens are beautiful now (May) and I love to buy wedding gifts when the gardens are in their prime.

I absolutely adore the McCarty pottery tradition. These people have lived simply, made beautiful pottery, and created a full life doing the things that make them happy. The pottery is made out of Mississippi clay and each piece has a Mississippi River somewhere on it. Most of the pieces are useful (bowls, vases, platters) and can be used in the oven. What's not to love -- beauty and utility thrown together in perfection.

I'll take pictures.

Hive Entry

The front door of one of our new hives is a busy place. There are bees fanning, guarding, entering, giving directions, exiting, and just cooling themselves. Sometimes you even catch them house cleaning -- removing dead bees, brood that didn't make it, or other debris.

Today is pretty warm so there are many bees fanning. They do this to keep the hive the proper temperature for brood rearing and to take some of the humidity from the air for honey production. When it gets really hot, they fan to prevent the wax from melting.

We added an onboard waterer to each hive today because the temperatures are predicted to be close to ninety and there is no rain in the forecast for at least ten days. Bees, like all animals, need water. We make it easy to get water because the hive is less stressed that way. Less stress creates healthy colonies that can ward off mites and disease and produce more bees and honey.

I found out "What Was With That"

After tormenting my husband for over a week about his video escapades in which he filmed someone else's child instead of our own, he said he wanted to see the tape. We watched the tape together and during that time I found out that he was filming without the aid of LCD screen. He was filming through the eye-piece which explains why he kept saying it was so dark he couldn't tell it wasn't our child. I am still amazed, but feel a little better.

Saturday Morning Beignets

The children have been begging for beignets. They sing a song we made up after the hurricane to try to get me to make the fried bread.

Cafe Du Monde, Cafe Du Monde. Even though you washed away, we still think of you at home.

Cafe Du Monde, Cafe Du Monde. Even though you washed away, we still need beignets. Let's fry some at home.

I know the song is stupid and that Cafe Du Monde didn't actually get blown away (they did close for remodeling to take advantage of the lull in their business and missing employees), but what can you expect from children who need a sugar fix. I made beignets the Saturday after Katrina to celebrate New Orleans and because my oven is electric and my stove top is gas. I didn't have electricity, so we fried breakfast. The children have been singing the song ever since.

I gave in this morning!! I am writing this as the dough rises for the first time. Here is a recipe that tastes like Cafe Du Monde beignets. They have a packaged beignet mix for sale, but fresh is best. This recipe is from A Gracious Plenty: Recipes and Recollections from the American South by John T. Edge.

French Market Beignets

1 cup Milk -- scalded
2 tbsp Butter
1 tbsp Sugar, Brown
1 tbsp Sugar
2 tsp Yeast, Active Dry
3 cup Flour, White, Unbleached
1 tsp Nutmeg
1 tsp Salt
1 ea Egg
Oil -- for deep frying
Sugar, Powdered -- liberal amounts for sprinkling

Instructions

Heat the milk in a saucepan to the scalding stage. Do not let it scorch. Stir often. Place the butter in a large mixing bowl and add the brown and granulated sugar. Pour in scalded milk and stir until butter is melted and mixture is lukewarm. Add the yeast and stir until dissolved. Sift together the flour, nutmeg, and salt. Gradually add about half the flour mixture to the milk to form a batter. Add the egg and beat thoroughly. Stir in the remaining flour. Cover and let rise for about an hour.

Knead gently. Roll out on a floured board to 1/4" thickness. Cut into diamond shapes. Cover. Let rise while you heat the oil to 385. Fry, turning only once. Drain and dust with confectioners' sugar. Serve warm.

Use liberal amounts of confectioners' sugar to make it authentic. We were in New Orleans a while back. My husband was working and the children and I were playing (exploring the French Quarter, eating beignets and mufflalettas, and trying to find the best praline). We bought some beignets to take when we met him. The children kept nibbling and I wasn't worried because the sack still felt heavy. When we got to the convention center to deliver the beignets, there was nothing but powdered sugar. In the bag was, at least, a quarter of a pound of sugar. I thought I was carrying beignets and all I was carrying was the topping. Needless to say my husband was disappointed.

We now have more cats . . .

All of my cats are neutered or spayed and guess what? I still am the proud owner of three kittens. Princess found them by the pile of trees waiting to be milled (Katrina damage). They followed her and are so human friendly that I know they are not a product of a feral cat. I made her leave them out there to see if a Mama cat would come for them. None did!

I know one of my "friends" dropped these here when we were away for the weekend and that makes me so angry. I don't want more cats - six is enough. My vet bills are already unbelievable because I feel the need to capture and neuter every feral cat that sets paw on my property. Now I have 3 more.

They are cute, though!

Looking forward to summer

Though temperatures will be 90+ tomorrow, I don't count summer as summer until my sisters start visiting for things like BLTs, blackberry picking, all day chow-chow, tomato sauce or pesto making, or jelly gelling. My sisters both live in the city, but they still crave a bit of the country summer action. I crave their visits. These visits are casual though directed and fun though productive. Tradition reigns. The children are able to play unfettered by school and usual obligations and the sisters get to chat, work, and eat.

On one of our more productive days we made and canned 10 gallons+ of slow cooking tomato sauce while still visiting, monitoring children, and keeping everyone fed. Sometimes we aren't as productive. The last time my sister was here she remembered finding four leaf clovers in my front yard when she was little. We had to go look. Sure enough, there were enough four leaf clovers for each of us in that one little patch. We just had to take the time to find a bit of luck.

Even though the motivation is to have some vegetables, fruit, or jelly in the larder or freezer to show for the day, the highlight of these days are the hours in which we reminisce about summers past and garner memories for our children.

I can barely wait!!!

Light Reading

When I was on my mini break this past weekend, I read three books. They were all excellent light reading. Mama has a few bookcases of paperback books of assorted reading material - nature books for shells, sea and beach life, and star gazing, many classics, and many more light reading books. I never take any books when we vacation, because I like to be surprised and I know Mama wouldn't let me down since she frequents this cute little independent bookstore in Gulf Shores called Just Books.

The first book I pulled from the shelf was Little Bitty Lies by Mary Kay Andrews, who also wrote Savannah Blues which I read last time I was at the beach. Little Bitty Lies is a Southern Ladies book in that much of the humor is derived from the cliches of Southern upper class life - the perfect chicken salad and Country Club, and protocol. The plot explodes with a cover-up lie so that "society" will not know Mary Bliss's husband has left her and her daughter penniless. Full of all things that make a page turning weekend read - intrigue, relationships, and secrets. I was unable to put this book down, so read through the night until 4 a.m.

The next book I read was Azur Like It by Wendy Holden. I didn't care for this book as much, but I am willing to suspend disbelief in almost any circumstance. A young reporter, Kate wishes to break free of a small town atmosphere and her family. She gets a chance in a not so believable way in which she ends up at the Cannes Film Festival. Many twists and turns, but most are predictable.

My last book was wonderful. Revenge of the Middle Aged Woman by Elizabeth Buchan is a story of struggle of a middle aged woman to find herself after her husband leaves her for a younger woman. Though this book would appear tragic at first, there is nothing tragic in Rose Lloyd's handling of the upheaval in her life.

Believe it or not, after reading all these books, I still had time to boogie board, walk on the beach, build a sand castle, and cook for my family.

Planning Geography

Geography is one of our least formalized studies. We read books about the countries we visit in history. We also study geography in science. This year, in our most formalized study, we read Kon Tiki by Thor Heyerdahl and Around the World in Eighty Days by Jules Verne and plotted the course of their travels on a map. However, we frequently don't have a subject named geography on our plans. I really like plotting the course of characters on a map and reading a bit about each of the locations, but unless I find another great living geography book, we will go back to studying geography within history and science. No matter how we study geography, these are a few of the resources we use a lot:

• World of Where is a wonderful computer map study aid, which lets you test by countries, states, provinces, or cities. View Political borders or physical world. You have the solar system, too! It even has a spoken mode for those youngest learners. All this and the price is right at only $11.95!!
• Borderline is a fun card game that helps make connections between states in the USA or countries in Africa, Europe or the World. You don't have to know geography to play but you will definitely learn some.
• National Geographic Magazine with all the wonderful images, maps, and thoughtful articles is still a bargain monthly geography curriculum, especially when used with the web site to find articles relating to your area of study or to locate or see a map. There are also great resources at the Xpeditions site
  
• A wall map is essential and luckily we subscribe to National Geographic and get one each year.
• Uncle Josh's Outline Maps CD-ROM is a great resource with 125 printable maps in pdf format. I like these because you get both historical maps and more recent images.
• NEA State by State Booklist provides a listing of books that will help you read across America. I know this is no help for Canadians and Europeans.

I know I've probably forgotten something. Does anyone else have favorite resources?