Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The Gift I Wish Santa had Forgotten in His Sack

There is always one of them - you know, the gift that just shouldn't have been. This year it was the pottery wheel. Santa should have included an art studio with the pottery wheel if he was going to leave that thing here. I have clay or clay water on every surface of my kitchen. I noticed as I walked in the office, which is on the other side of the house, that there is clay on the door knob. I have already shrieked, "Get that thing out of my house. Put it in the shed and leave it there." Later, after I relax, we can figure out a way the children can sling pots without slinging clay onto the walls, floor, table, stove, counters, and door knobs. Right now, I want to throttle Santa.

This is not the first time that he has brought messy gifts. A few years ago, there was a dinosaur excavation kit that scattered small stones and sand everywhere. Another year, there was an erector set that still seems to launch pieces into the most unsuspecting places, only to be found when I kneel to get something and my knee is pierced causing extreme pain.

I will send my own letter to Santa reminding him that I need no help making and maintaining a mess.

10 comments:

Frankie said...

We have one of those! It's sitting high on a shelf in my closet, hopefully completely forgotten and not remembered.

Our messy cuplrit this year was Moon Sand. Very cool stuff, but kids+sand=mess. Oh, and I bought a sand art kit...but Thomas hasn't opened that up yet. Maybe this spring, in the back yard.

Susan Sister said...

Santa must have had too many Tabs during the holidays. He needs to buy you some really quiet plastic non-educational stuff like a nerf gun that can nail you at 40 feet ....

mull-berry said...

We have about 1,000 plastic airsoft bb's in our backyard. Next time, I want the kind that has grass seed in them!

Susan said...

In the past Santa has left a few too many toys with electronic voices or sounds. (The Sesame Street saxophone was one I was really not fond of. It used to go off all by itself.) This year I aided and abetted Mr. Claus by buying a bird book with 250 birdcalls at Lemuria for my son. I could not resist. I don't know what came over me...

wisteria said...

BBs may win the prize. We have a problem with that, too. Ours are inside and out.

That bird call book sounds interesting. What is the title? I could be lured into another annoying gift.

Susan said...

It's called "Bird Songs: 250 North American Birds in Song," and the author is Les Beletsky. Chronicle Books, 2006. The audio comes from Cornell's Ornithology Lab, and each bird call is a couple of seconds long. The quality is pretty good, but probably not as good as say, a CD.

So far my son is more interested in the alarmed toy safe that my husband just gave him. eeek. more noises.

wisteria said...

Those safes are annoying. We have one.

zilla said...

Santa's always been pretty on target around here, but one year my mother sent my stepson one of those erupting volcanoes. Utterly useless as a science lesson, and the mess was horrific.

Mr Z's wishing he hadn't given me the iPod. :-)

wisteria said...

We had one of those and they are terribly messy. Thank goodness I had sense enough to demand outside eruption.

What? Mr. Z doesn't like Bette Midler singing Delta Dawn? Would he like Helen Reddy singing it better? Or would he prefer Bette singing The Rose?

zilla said...

Now THIS is funny!

I came by to search your blog for mention of a baking stone (pizza stone, whatever) hoping to find some easy advice as to brand & care, etc., and I landed on this post, just after seeing Bette with MrZ.

Will wonders never cease?

Anyway, what I'm wondering about stones is where to buy, how much to spend, and how to store when it can't be in the oven.

Maybe I'm wrong in assuming you'd use one? If so, please pardon the interruption (to whatever you're doing that's preventing you from writing me a new post!!!)

Well, now, THAT was selfish of me. I know you're riding herd alone at the moment!

I hope all is well on the farm, W. Hope you have time to fill us all in soon.